Proof of life

When someone is kidnapped and a ransom is demanded the family of the kidnapped will often ask for "proof of life". Something that proves that their family member is still alive. As I wait to find out Monday if there are one or two little me's in there I just realised that I have seen no direct proof of life from anyone. No pictures, no messages from inside the womb, not even one of those pee sticks with the "+" sign on it. All I know is what I have been told. I have seen what I call secondary signs, a bloated, stinky, constipated, sometimes kinda mean wife. I have played many practical jokes on my wife over the years. From wrapping up things she already owned and giving them to her for Christmas to the time I wanted to go to the hunting and sportsman's show and knew she would not want to go. I asked her if she wanted to go to a "Hair and Makeup" show at the convention center. She was so excited I actually felt a bit guilty as we walked into the center and she was greeted by a class on the best way to gut a deer. Ever since then I know she has been planning on one massive joke on me to make up for all the years of torture I have put her through. Could this be it? Is it possible that my wife is so devious that she orchestrated this massive conspiracy just to mess with me. I guess I will have to wait until tomorrows ultrasound for my proof of life. Check in for the results tomorrow.