A pink hamper and pee targets

We decided it was time to start the baby registry for Andrea's shower. Sounds simple enough, yea right! First, Walmart, USA Baby, Target, Baby Depot or Babies R US? Ok, settled in on Babies R US. We walk in and meet with the registry specialist lady. We fill out several forms get a list of things that they think we need and a Star Trek phaser looking thing that I get to shoot things in the store with. We are then set loose on the store. I figured my firefighting training would pay off here as I have been trained on how to search and clear a large building and this time I was doing it without wearing 60 pounds of gear. I started off on a left sided search and rescue pattern which quickly brought me to toys. Great, the girls don't need any toys yet, they are infants, they cry sleep, eat and poop. Oh wait, that is cute, oh Jeffrey look at this, they definitely need 2 of these. This may take a bit longer than I thought. We will come back to toys later. Off to crib mattresses. I guess we need to pick a crib first, we will come back here later also. Next blankets, this one has got to be easy. Nope, if you thought that a blanket was a blanket then you are an idiot. Do we need adjustable, fleece, receiving, wearable, micro fleece, adjustable micro fleece or some thing called a super blanket. We have no idea, we better come back to these later. Next was a clothes hamper, finally something easy. There were only 3 styles and once we picked the style we had only 5 different colors to work through. I am proud to say that after only 45 short minutes a decision was made. We now will be the proud owners of a "kids line folding pink clothes hamper". We have been in the store now for an hour and we have one thing on the registry. The registry lady told us we should pick about 300 things. You do the math. At this rate we only have 225 more hours to go. Living on the high of our recent hamper victory I decided we should go take on the biggest ticket items and get them out of the way. How hard could it be to pick a crib? Yet again I am quickly defeated. For those of you that did not know it cribs are now "convertible" This means that they transform somehow magically from a crib to a toddler bed to a full size bed. While this seems convenient and is a financially sound concept it does not work for us. The girls will need to share a room as long as we are in this house and the room is not big enough for 2 full beds. Ok, how about a convertible crib that magically transforms from a crib to a toddler bed to a twin bed. Nope, no one has been smart enough to invent that one yet. We can send a man to the moon but a crib that turns into a smaller bed is way too much to ask. At this point we abandoned the list they gave us and just started shooting. Neighbor kid Noah seems to like this pacifier, great get 4, saw one of them at the mall once, great get 2 and so on. As we were passing the potty training area I saw these things that you put in the toilet for little boys to aim at. How cool, I suddenly wish I was having a boy so I could get these. Wait, I am a boy, on the list it went. Andrea said I could use the practise. We then decided that we needed help from an expert so I called Darci a mother of a 2 year old and scheduled a meeting for her to come with us and tell us what we really needed. We were ready to be done for the day anyways. I took one more quick run around the store and scanned everything I saw that was pink and said "I love daddy" and we were out of there. Next week we are going back to try again but I sit here at least knowing that if nothing else at least we have one hell of a nice pink hamper!