Jeffrey, can you clean the toilet? NOW!

The sickness continues but it was a puke free Friday. I often hear her bellow for me to clean the toilet as she is gonna be bowing to it shortly. I am amazed at how much control she has, it's like she can schedule them. She called me the other day on the way to see a customer and asked for my advice on the best place to pull over on 79 to throw up. She settled in on the Mt. Nebo Park and Ride. She had planned a short trip to Myrtle Beach about a month ago before she was getting sick and she decided to go despite her sickness. So her and Leanne were off to the airport this morning and will be back Wednesday. We have a date for her first baby doc appointment in a couple weeks and she was told she had to continue with the morning shots until at least then. That's about it for now, good luck to my friend Debby who is doing a 24 hour long walk for the cure this weekend.

Heartbeats!

We did an ultrasound today and saw the heartbeats. One baby was hiding a bit but we did see a heartbeat on both and got to see arms, legs and heads. It was very exciting to see what actually looked like a person and not just a blob. The heart rates on both and sizes of both were in the normal limits and we were released from the clinic and will start seeing the regular OB Dr. now. Andrea felt a bit better today, we are hopeful that it was the Ginger that did it and she will continue to feel better.

Squirrel

I made Andrea get out of bed and took her out for soup this evening. We tried to go to Domenico's for French Onion but they were closed for the holiday. Could Filippo work any less? We ended up at Panera. She got through a bowl of soup without throwing up which is more than I can say for dinner last night. No pukes today but she has been attacked by the poopie monster. I went and got her some Ginger pills at the pharmacy today to see if that helps and she is wearing something called Sea Bands. They are sweat bands for your wrists that have a ball that pushes on some pressure point that is supposed to help. We are basically trying everything we find on the internet. If she does not feel better by tomorrow we are going to sacrifice a squirrel. We read about it on http://www.pregnancyvoodoo.com/. I wonder how many of you will go see if that is a real site. When we left Panera I asked her if she wanted to go anywhere else. She said back to bed. Even if Kohl's was having a buy one get three free sale she would not go. Now that is sick! We are going to the Dr. tomorrow for an ultrasound. I can't wait to see those little hearts beating away.

Things they are a' changin!

I want to go boatin, nope she is sick. I want to go out to eat, nope she is sick. I decide to make something to eat at home, no good, the smell makes her sick. Maybe I should just go to bed, nope, been kicked outa there also. She has trouble sleeping and I snore. Off to the guest room. How about some lovin before I am banished? Nope, "are you insane"? She has spent the last few days in bed. The afternoon, evening sickness continues and it is starting to anger her. She is definately tired of me waking her daily to stick a needle in her and unfortunately the sickness and needle will continue for about another month. She did go out with the neighbors the other night for awhile. She had a craving for something strawberry. Patty came through with Strawberry Sorbet, tasted good going down, not so good on the way back up 30 minutes later. Next craving was a toasted cheese sandwich. In the 12 years we have been together she has never asked me for a toasted cheese sandwich. With a quick raid of Belva's kitchen we accomplished this one and it stayed down. It is great to have good neighbors, even better to have good neighbors with stocked kitchens. My life is definately changing, maybe this is what Obama was talking about.

Good Andrea story

I am not sure if this can be attributed to pregnancy but Andrea told me a great story I had to share. Andrea had a claim that she has been working for months as the man that made the claim has been busy taking care of his sick wife. Andrea called him today and he said that he was sorry that he had not called her back since his wife had been sick and now his son was dying. Andrea felt terrible that she was bothering him and told him how sorry she was. At the end of the conversation she again stressed how terrible she felt and how sorry she was about his son. The customer called her later and said that he thought she had misunderstood what he had said. He had said that he was sorry that he had not called her back because his wife had been sick and now his PHONE was dying. Does pregnancy effect your hearing?

One week and counting until we get to go do another ultrasound. I don't think I wrote about the first ultrasound in any detail, I was a bit taken aback that day. It started with Andrea going in to change into one of those one size fits all sexy gowns and heading into the ultrasound room. I was made to sit in the waiting room that I will tell you about at another time. I will give you a hint as to what it is used for though. I hate it! Anyway, I think I was not allowed to be with Andrea because I am fairly sure the staff there hates me. That is a story for another time also. The staff eventually calls me into a dark room where Andrea is laying back and there is a monitor that shows 2 blobs. Andrea can't see the screen yet but I could and for a second I was confused as to what this was that I was looking at. Being somewhat intelligent I remembered that we had put two embryos in and there were two blobs on that screen. I was so excited but waited for the official verdict. The tech turned the screen towards Andrea and told her that there were two in there. It would be hard for me to explain Andrea's reaction but it was a mix of yelling, shrieking, crying and yet again yelling "twins, twins, oh my twins" over and over. Those of you that know Andrea well know that she is not the most quiet of people. Needless to say we did not need to tell any of the other staff in the building that we were successful. They all heard. She then got dressed and we went back to a waiting room where we just sat and stared at the wall for a few minutes. We really did not say much. Just sat there and thought about things until we were summoned to meet with one of the Docs. I can't wait to see the difference in "Gestational Sac A & B" as they refer to them as or "Bella and Tumas" as we refer to them as ( short for belly and tummy ). As for the current situation, Andrea continues to be sick about every afternoon or evening. She continues to be fairly "musical" and seems to be sleeping a bit better. She has had a few cravings but they have been for mostly healthy foods. She never ate salads before and now likes them. The one thing she missed was Diet Coke. The whole artificial sweetener thing is bad as is caffeine. Splenda is ok so I started my search for a diet caffeine free drink sweetened with Splenda. I looked at convenience stores, grocery stores and online. I had about given up when I found it at Giant Eagle in Seven Fields the other day. Diet Rite w Splenda. You would have thought I brought home a winning lottery ticket. She was getting tired of decaffeinated iced tea and water. Who would have thought a tasty beverage would make such a difference. I guess it is the little things in life that matter.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Andrea is sick about every day now, she is unable to fall asleep at night and is often up until 2-3am and she is very busy at work. She got 5 new claims on Friday alone. She is not complaining but she is not necessarily very happy. So knowing all this, when my friend Stacy called me Friday to tell me that Seven Fields was having a big garage sale and there was lots of kid stuff out I thought I would do a drive by. I was headed that way to see a customer anyways, maybe I can find something at a great deal. nothing seems to make Andrea smile like baby stuff these days. I was on the bargain hunt and with a mentor like Andrea training me over the years these Seven Fields sellers did not have a prayer. My eagle eyes spotted 2 baby gates from the road. I pulled in and walked down the driveway trying to look as uninterested as possible. I did not go up the the gates at first, I walked around a bit looking unimpressed. You gotta know how to play the game. These are skills I learned in the straw markets of Mexico and they were about to pay off. I strolled up to the gates and picked one up, they were fairly new and I was sure they were perfect. They said $15 each. I had no idea what these things cost new but I am sure much more than this. The owner walked up and told me that he paid $30 each for them at Lowes last year. I offered him $20 for both and he countered at $25. At $60 last year add 5% increase in cost since then and 6% sales tax I would now pay $66.78 for these and settled on $25. Carrying them back to my car I was proud of my work and could not wait to show them to Andrea. Now came my disappointment. First I was told that our friend Maria had bought 3 baby gates at a garage sale just weeks ago for $10. That's $10 for all 3. I was then told that they were the wrong kind. We needed gates that had a door attached so you don't have to climb over them to get up or down the steps. Apparently there is more than one kind of gate made and I bought the wrong kind. I was then informed that my thinking for myself privileges were being revoked and all baby related purchases would need prior authorization from Andrea. I have attached the picture of the gates. I am accepting offers.

Responsibility

Andrea and I went to church last night. Being Mothers Day weekend the service was very mom oriented of course. First there were preschoolers that were there to sing two songs. I think only about 3 of them sang a note but they all did what they were really there to do. Look cute and have mom and dad take lots of pictures. Then there was a baby dedication. As it turns out my friends grand daughter was being dedicated with two others. Ben's grand daughter was adorable in her long white dress and Andrea and I both found ourselves thinking about us being up there this time next year. I was thinking it would be nice to be up there with two little ones but did not give it much more thought till Pastor Sweater Vest ( those of you from NWCC will get that ) started gettin his preach on. He was talking about the responsibility that the parents and the whole church had to help raise these kids. It hit me hard and fast that I was soon going to be responsible for two people. If they end up being total jerks it was propably me that screwed up. If I got so scared on Mothers Day I can't imagine what I will be thinking on Fathers Day. So to all mothers, especially mine. Thanks for being responsible over the years and for all you do. Also a big thanks to Adam and Jason for informing me that I had to buy Andrea something for Mothers Day. Crisis averted, and yes, Andrea did cry during the preschoolers singing.

The "F" word

My mother hates it when I use the "F" word. No not that one, the other one. I don't want to say it here. There is nothing like a 38 year old man getting scolded by his mother. You know the one that rhymes with "tart". I guess I will refer to it as "tart". I have said before that Andrea has had a few issues medically with the pregnancy so far. She has been bloated, tired, occasionally emotional and unfortunately a bit gassy. So there we are watching the Penguin game the other night in bed and she fires one off. Now I have been known to play a game of "tent monster" in bed before. You know that one, where you "tart" and pull the covers over her head. Well, she is enjoying getting me back for 10 years of this game now. So there she is tartin away which makes her start to giggle. The giggling then causes her to tart again which she finds even more funny causing her to giggle even harder. You see where this is going. Now we are in what seems like an endless cycle that is not going to end well for me. I want to get mad but I am already in love with the source. Well, maybe not the source but definately the cause. Oh well, this too shall "pass".

Crying

Just a short note to let you all know how insane or should I say emotional my wife is. We were at the YMCA tonight walking around the track when I mentioned that I had stopped at a nursing home today. She immediately started crying, not a little sissy cry but a real tears rolling down her face cry. I am not positive what caused this outbreak and I don't think I want to.

Should have just gone to Dairy Queen

I don't get rattled easily. I have rescued people from burning buildings, had drunks attack me with weapons, done CPR and told people how to do CPR on the phone to loved ones a hundred times, talked complete strangers out of killing themselves over the phone. It takes alot to stress me out. Nothing could have prepared me for what I did last night. I took two pregnant women to dinner and shopping at Babies R Us. It was my idea, what was I thinking. I thought there may be some things that we would have to buy, especially since there were two in there. My neighbor/friend Adam was working last night and his wife Maria is about 3 months more pregnant than Andrea. I thought it would be good to take a tour guide, someone who has already started the process. How hard could it be, carseat, stroller, bed, done. Walking through the door I am greeted by several crying children. Now off to carseats. How can there be this many to chose from. One goes in a stroller, one up to 22 pounds, one that goes past 22 pounds but has to be used backwards for the first 22 pounds, one with multiple bases that make it easier to go from car to car, different colors and patterns, name brands, safety ratings, etc. Oh yea, by the way, you need two. Ok, time to move on, the next stop has to be easier than this, nope. Video monitors, audio monitors, what kind of CIA spy crap is this? Strollers- don't even get me started. Cribs and some thing called a pack and play that I am gonna need a second mortgage for and I still don't know what it does. Oh yea, by the way, you need 2 of everything. At this point I am pretty sure my head is going to spin off my body and then I wandered into what I will call the "hooter aisle". Nipple cream and breast pumps that you can buy or rent and books with pictures that made me blush. Had I somehow walked into a black hole, some worm hole in space, some vortex that had transported me in the blink of an eye 15 miles south to the Adult Mart on McKnight Road? What is this place and why are you allowed in here if you are under 18yrs old? At this point my dad called me on the cell phone. I told him I was at Babies R Us with two pregnant women. He wished me good luck and quickly hung up. It was like he knew this was a bad idea. Ok, it is time to get out of here. I had one more thing to check though. I wanted a book on what to expect with twins. They had a book section at the front of the store with books on everything except for anything dealing with twins. This has been an experience but all I want to do is go home. I am quickly informed by the preggos though that I am taking them for ice cream. Who am I to argue? There are 5 of them and only 1 of me. I am way outnumbered. Off to Dairy Queen.

BOGO

Ok, I have had about 5 hours to let this all sink in a bit. Nothing about this should surprise me. Andrea is CHEAP! I guess a nicer way would be to say she is thrifty. Some of her trips to Kohls are legendary. I have seen multiple women sitting around Andrea as she tells tales of her conquests at the checkout line. How she would find an article of clothing that she already owns on the clearance rack in the super discount aisle and how she would use a 40% coupon on double coupon Thursday and when all was said and done she would leave with a $50 sweater and Kohls paid her $1.89 to take it off their hands. I have watched in amazement as all the hens line up to learn from the master. So I guess if anyone could come up with a "buy one get one" coupon for IVF it would be my wife. I guess I should consider myself lucky. It could have been a "get 3 for 30k" coupon.

Andrea's Ultrasound results

This post will be fairly small as I am still in a state of shock. TWINS

Proof of life

When someone is kidnapped and a ransom is demanded the family of the kidnapped will often ask for "proof of life". Something that proves that their family member is still alive. As I wait to find out Monday if there are one or two little me's in there I just realised that I have seen no direct proof of life from anyone. No pictures, no messages from inside the womb, not even one of those pee sticks with the "+" sign on it. All I know is what I have been told. I have seen what I call secondary signs, a bloated, stinky, constipated, sometimes kinda mean wife. I have played many practical jokes on my wife over the years. From wrapping up things she already owned and giving them to her for Christmas to the time I wanted to go to the hunting and sportsman's show and knew she would not want to go. I asked her if she wanted to go to a "Hair and Makeup" show at the convention center. She was so excited I actually felt a bit guilty as we walked into the center and she was greeted by a class on the best way to gut a deer. Ever since then I know she has been planning on one massive joke on me to make up for all the years of torture I have put her through. Could this be it? Is it possible that my wife is so devious that she orchestrated this massive conspiracy just to mess with me. I guess I will have to wait until tomorrows ultrasound for my proof of life. Check in for the results tomorrow.